The SAT Essay – Student Example 2

SAT Essay Student Example 2

The current SAT essay, required for SAT test-takers prior to 2016, involves much preparation, critical thinking and memorization of examples. Not only is this essay to be written within 25 minutes, it is also graded in a more qualitative way than the rest of the SAT test. Grading takes 2-3 experts and is based on objective techniques as well as the presence or absence of literary skill.

There are several common pitfalls of students regarding this essay, such as assuming things about the reader, using vague examples, drawing conclusions in their heads rather than on paper, and of course grammar and vocabulary mistakes.

The following is an example of an essay written in my SAT Essay Writing class, which I believe would score a 5 or 6 from SAT graders.

 

SAT Prompt: Does being ethical make it hard to be successful?

 

A person being ethical means that he or she knows what is right, what is wrong and chooses to do the right things.  Ethic does not impede a person to be successful.  Instead, being unethical can sometimes make a person fail.  Several examples from history and movies clearly demonstrate that being ethical is important for people to be successful.

 

Mother Teresa is one of the most ethical people in the world.  She rescued many people in poor countries and war zones.  She ran charities and helped thousands of people.  Mother Teresa said “By blood, I am Albanian.  By citizenship, I am an Indian.  By faith, I am a Catholic nun.  As to my calling, I belong to the world. As to my heart, I belong entirely to the heart of Jesus.”  All she did was giving and helping.  By her kindness, she won the Nobel Peace Prize.  However, for her, success may not be getting a world well-known prize, but seeing the smiling faces from those who she rescued.

 

In the movie ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’, we see a smart and unethical character, Jordan Belfort.  By tricking and lying to his customers, Jordan becomes richer and richer.  He made $22 million after securing the IPO of Steve Madden Ltd., which is illegal and unethical.  He seems to be a successful person by being unethical who has lots of money and who can pretty much have everything he wants.  However, sow the wind and reap the whirlwind, our millionaire Jordan ends up in jail.  Doing the wrong thing did make Jordan successful, for a short time, and for a long time, no one can be successful without ethics.

 

Ethics are important for a person to be successful.  Yes, many people who are ethical may not be successful, because success is based on many other things as well; such as skills, ability, opportunities and fortune.  However, without being ethical, a person cannot be successful.

 

After a careful analysis of Mother Teresa’s story and the movie ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’, one can see that ethics are indeed important for a person to be successful.  Being ethical does absolutely not make it hard for one to achieve success.

 

Essay Analysis:

 

Very carefully written.  Excellent introduction tells the reader exactly what will be said and states the thesis right away.  Some SAT prep suggests using less well-known examples; therefore Mother Teresa might not be the best example.  Another bit of criticism comes from other SAT preppers who suggest always using a book as a resource if a book has become a movie.  However, these are minor concerns.  Grammatically, there are a few errors, but the thought process is clear and the point of the essay is well understood.  Use of a quote always buffs up an essay.  Also, her comparison of two people is congruent.  Other popular examples come from companies and their ethics or lack thereof. All around – well written and informative.

A graduate from Columbia University and a native New Yorker, Nico is now in Melbourne helping students here to realize their American college dream. Her understanding of U.S. higher education and experience in the Ivy League will guide you through both the SAT exam and the entire admission process.

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